You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
