I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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