Pants 0. Shit 1.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The chlamydia really affected his face.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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