what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we're making bets on your personal life
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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