i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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