the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
