Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just google imaged poop.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
