she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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