Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We need to get me chipped asap
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
