I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
