He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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