He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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