God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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