Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
