The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
