What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
