When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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