I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
