weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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