Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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