bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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