jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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