I am in a vortex of obligation.
she woke up with a sticky ear
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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