the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
