halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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