i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
