I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
