I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
