no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
