3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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