She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
