my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
