Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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