Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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