Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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