Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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