She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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