Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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