Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
