she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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