My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
