The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
