So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
