chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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