good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
