I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
