Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I need help removing her.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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