I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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