Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
