She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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