Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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