I would go down on you faster than GM stock
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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