It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
